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Jan. 12th, 2011

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I freaking hate Januarys. As a minister, it is the month of funerals. I can't tell you how many people hang on through the holidays and die the first of the year. I just want reach through screen and hug each of you, the sadness is just palpable.
My grandma is in the middle of her last days. Every time I see my mom's name show up on my caller id, I expect to hear the news. She is in horrible pain, despite constant morphine doses. I have reach the point that I want her to go, her life is nothing but misery here. I keep vacillating back and forth between going down now. But, she has only rare moments of lucidity that I wonder if it would do any good. She said goodbye to me at CHristmas, so I don't know.

Suffering sucks.

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( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
sprouterific
Jan. 12th, 2011 06:17 pm (UTC)
Hugs, D's grandma is very close to the end too. We're sort of expecting a similar phonecall. We had a good Christmas with her- you're spot on with the holidays.
rhubelerosko
Jan. 12th, 2011 07:18 pm (UTC)
Being the strength in other people's grief must be exhausting. I can't imagine then having to then deal with one's own grief/worry. You are a very strong person. I wish for your grandmother less suffering and, for you, an uneventful January.
jumpinmonkies
Jan. 13th, 2011 02:54 am (UTC)
So many hugs. Dealing with the end of your grandma's journey AND so many other people finally letting go... I'm in awe of your strength. (((more squishy hugs, because I've got plenty)))
(Anonymous)
Jan. 26th, 2011 09:13 pm (UTC)
asspony
i like it! I will have to add it to the list....

GeorgiaSnail
(Thomas)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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