My mom started doing our family tree and the best we can determine is that my grandmother's grandparents were dropped off by aliens. Seriously, we can't find anything on them anywhere. It doesn't help that her grandfather had a really, really common name and lived in a rural area. We know he was a farmer, basically because that was the only job available in that part of the state.

I was helping mom look through death certificates in our state's archives ( i just realized how lame that sounds.) So as I am flipping through the records, I found a guy who crushed to death between a mating bull and cow.This is a man with no friends. Because a good friend would either:
A) Get you out of that situation. 
or 
B) If they couldn't , they would make up a lie, so you wouldn't have "CRUSHED BY MATING" on your death certificate

We almost got kicked out of the archives I was laughing so hard. But when I showed the librarian, he understood.

(Thanks for the idea Pom_e_granate)